Total Failure!!!

Yep, three exclamation marks!!! This means I’m serious!!!

Over a week ago i had all my wisdom teeth taken out. No solid food for a few days and mixed with Codeine and a bit of agony there was no desire for food in general. Unfortunately I was one of a lucky few that suffered from a “Dry Socket”. This means extra agony during the healing process as the blood clots moved and the raw bone is exposed. Essentially I haven’t had a decent meal for 11 days.

Before the op I was floating between 57/58 kg (Around 128 pounds). Now I’ve dropped to 52/53 kg (Around 114 pounds). To make things worse i’m still recovering from this Dry Socket so no sign of eating properly for another week or so.

I’m back to square one

Everything is fine… Apparently

It’s hard to trust a system that is so overwhelmed with people. I was sent for a blood test to see if i had anything that was stopping me from putting on weight. The guy who took my blood probably does the same for 100 people a day but that doesn’t excuse the fact that he was awful at it. I’ve had a few injections in my time and none hurt this much. I then had some weird pains for nearly two weeks and my arm went numb in a small arera. I even went to accident and emergency and got prescribed a weeks worth of anti-inflammatory pills. In fact it’s still a bit numb now.

I phoned the Doc the other day on behalf of my partner and asked if the results were back. “Oh… yes” said the secretary. “hmm… everything seems to be fine, no issues. The doctor hasn’t requested to see you”

So, no excuse for being unnaturally skinny. However i might need to make an appointment to see about my fucking arm. And no, I’m not a hypochondriac.

this is failing… although there is sill hope (?)

I’m stuck at 55kg (121.25 pounds). Having said that my effort has decreased or stailed. I haven’t had the time to concentrate on my diet although at least I’m not dropping kilos. 55kg is respectable but way short of my 70kg target.

 

My partner mentioned the thyroid gland the other day suggesting that maybe i have a thyroid problem. This is the excuse that fat people use sometimes although after looking into it perhaps it’s not an excuse at all. Or if it is, it’s an excuse skinny people can use too!

 

I may have a hyperactive thyroid as it seams i have many of the symptoms, shaky hands (not crazy shaky just a slight tremble) strong heartbeat, hungry a lot, weak and tired sometimes. So, I’m having the test done. If i do have this problem then perhaps i can get some help in putting on some weight. If i don’t then i have to resign myself to protein and gym. This is by far my least favorite solution, hence the reason i avoided it all year.

Now it’s getting hard

The honey moon period is over. I’ve established that I’m trying to put on weight after years of being a skinny wreck. Everything started pretty well, regular eating, a bit of over eating and a trip to fatty New York. However, a couple of afternoons of very late lunches, little breakfast and a bit too much coffee caused me to loose over half a kilo in just a couple of days. I’m sure there are 1000s of people trying to loose weight but for me it’s a desperate cause o do the complete opposite.

I finally managed to  reach the late 55kg (just over 121 pounds) so slipping away from this is not a goo thing as i still have 15kg to go. It’s been a month now so although it started well things aren’t looking good right now.

I want to eat in America

We all know Americans like big. So what better than a trip to the Big Apple to put on some weight. I arrived on Wednesday and after some bad airport food, rubber in-flight “food” and a Thai on arrival, a bout of diarrhea probably reduced my weight a few hundred grams.

I fought back however with some Pizza slices, diner breakfasts and chocolate. Hopefully the miles and miles of walking didn’t do any damage to the kilos i have put on in the last months. I was 55kg when i left on Wednesday and hopefully i shall be the same if not more when i return on Tuesday.

People here really are big. I know that in the UK we have the highest obesity rate in Europe but that’s not saying much. Half of Europe is poor, the Spanish sleep and shout more than they eat, the French smoke and sip wine while the Germans study. Of course everyone in the UK is fat, there is nothing better to do. In the US however people are BIG. It must take a lot of work to be this big. A pile of shit the height of the Empire state building must be flushed down the toilets of America every day. Quite amazing.

Big Bad Belly

Before i decided to go on my weight-putting-on adventure, i was unsure as to where the weight would go. Now I’m starting to realise that it’s on my belly. I think the time has come to go to a gym. The thought alone fills me with dread but at the moment my body looks like a toothpick with an olive in the middle.

Is it as bad to be called skinny as it is to be called fat?

For the last decade or more I’ve had people call me skinny. It happens a lot in the summer when more of the body is exposed and there are less clothes. I love the winter for its hiding the body qualities. The strange thing about people saying I’m skinny that it’s not a surprise to me. i know I’m skinny as I’ve been in this body for some time. I also wonder sometimes if people are so ready to tell someone that they are fat. I’m pretty sure I’ve never told anyone that they are fat, it seems a bit rude.

The chances are that a skinny person is more healthy than a fat person but in both instances you could argue that either person can’t do much bout their physical shape. I’m naturally skinny so to become big is hard work and people that are naturally big have to work to loose weight. Everyone is too lazy these days o do anything so it’s easier just to remain the same. I don’t like being called skinny, i hate undressing in front of people and I’m shy when i have to expose my body, yet it’s apparently fine for people to tell me and remind me that I’m skinny.

A Slip-UP

The process of putting on weight is a delicate one for me. It doesn’t take much for me to drop a few 100 grams. Yesterday i was out working all day (a Sunday i might add) and although i had my breakfast i didn’t eat anything between 8am and 4pm. This is the kind of thing i used to do all the time and probably the main reason I’m a skinny wreck. I actually felt guilty. I assume it’s the kind of guilt a fat person feels when they sit in front of the TV munching and easting crap.

Well I punished myself by having breakfast at 7.30 with my son and then again at 10.30. Followed by four bowls of pasta for lunch and the dinner I’m cooking now. I still need to get these protein drinks but haven’t had time to investigate them.

This morning i also had a double espresso, another regular occurrence in the past. I really felt the difference with my appetite as i had to force down food later in the day. If i have any hope at putting on weight i have to quit coffee for a while.

A view from my scales

On the first day of my ‘get big diet’ i was surprised at my weight. For years I thought i was around 55kg which is just over 8.5 stone. However, on the morning of the 8th of January i discovered that i was 51.8kg! This is 8.175 stone! Just over 8 stone or closer to 7 than 9! Most of my friends are between 10 and 13 stone so i decided that my aim is to reach 70kg around 11 stone, which for you Americans is 154 pounds from my initial 114.2 pounds.

In case you were wondering where i get all this from check this

Now, nearly 20 days have passed and although i should get on the scales first thing in the morning I’m going to check right now…

54.2kg! 8.535 Stone or 119.5 Pounds

This is Starting to look a little more respectable. So far that means i have put on 2.4kg in 20 days and i’ve done this by trying to eat more regularly and bigger portions. I’ve also started making smoothies with as many bananas as i can handle. But for me the main thing is eating regularly. this is very hard to do for me as my life isn’t that regular. I’m freelance and work from home which can actually make me quite lazy. Then sometimes I’m out working on location all day and it’s hard to stop for food. To add to my problems i was recently very hooked on coffee which i feel totally wiped my appetite and i found it easy to miss lunch or breakfast.

Plan number two is to start on these protein drinks. Anyone have any feedback to protein drinks?

Welcome

Skinny2big

 

Hello my name is skinny2big. I’m in my late 20s and for the last two decades I’ve been underweight. Finally I’ve decided to do something about it and i intend to become bigger, normal, better?

 

By underweight i actually mean really skinny. You wouldn’t struggle to see my ribs, if i come out of a hot shower and relax you will see my skin moving up an down near my heart as it beats. My ankles are the size of most people’s wrists and a girl can’t rest against my shoulder for more than a minute… it’s too uncomfortable.

 

Having said all this i wouldn’t go as far as saying that I’m repulsively skinny. There is worse out there but I’ve decided that I’ve had enough. I’m now actively trying to put on weight while the rest of the world seems to be trying to loose it. This blog will hopefully help me keep track of progress. It may even motivate me to keep going!